Zulo Blog

Waking Up

Posted by Kelly on May 12, 2014 at 5:45 PM Comments comments (0)

I feel like I've been asleep, stuck in a dream for the past 5 years. It hasn't been a good dream... But now I've woken up. I'm FINALLY becoming myself again. I don't expect anyone to understand what I'm saying here, but just know that I'm about to do great things. I don't brag, it's something I just don't do but I have to say I am an amazing woman and it's time I show the world who I am.

I found the obstacles in my life and hurdled them. I also finally realized how badly I've been oppressed throughout my entire life... My family, every adult in my life wanted me to change to suit their standards. No one allowed me to be myself 100 %. If my mother hadn't been so lenient in some situations, I probably would have put the terrible thoughts I'd had in my teenage years into action. All along, I never knew but I know now that people kept bringing me down & forcing me to be someone I didn't want to be.

The major difference between now & then is now, I'm in full control of me. I'm finally free of the oppression because I have learned to focus solely on what I WANT & what I NEED. If someone disagrees, I don't have time to fix their problems because it is THEIR problem, not mine. I'm taking care of myself so they should take care of theirself & stop worrying about what I'm doing. Maybe it's selfish in a way but YOU are the only person you can always depend on. You have to be your own best friend, your own motivation, your own light, learn to think for yourself and guide yourself to where you're meant to be and your purpose in this life.

How to Get the Job You Want

Posted by Kelly on April 26, 2014 at 7:15 PM Comments comments (0)

Working on the following can help tremendously, also be sure to list them on your resume...

Communication Skills - Show that you have the power to express yourself clearly & accurately

Technical Skills - Microsoft & Adobe are good to start with.

Leadership & Management (Initiative) - Working on your own projects or organizing an event. This reveals an ability to take initiative & manage on a small scale.

Teamwork Skills - Ability to work in a group is valuable. List cooperative skills working in a group or volunteering.

Compromise & Cooperation

Research & Gathering Skills - Clerical work & data analysis are useful ways to practice these skills.

Creativity - New approaches to problems.

Working under pressure

Cultural Awareness


Ways To Stop Feeling Fat

Posted by Kelly on April 24, 2014 at 3:05 AM Comments comments (0)

Remember you are a f***ing genius, hysterically funny & really popular.

Get super dressed up and spend an inordinate amount of time on your hair and makeup, just to go get groceries or perform other mundane tasks.

Make a list of 10 things you want to do before you die, and indulge the most exciting one you can come up with. That may mean taking ONE action step towards achieving the goal of your choice (e.g. if you want to sing at Carnegie Hall, start practicing your scales).

Masturbate. Regularly. (Or have sex, whichever.)

Wrap your body head-to-toe in something hyper-comfortable, like warm bath water, fresh sheets or maybe an old cashmere Juicy jumpsuit. Remember those? I'm '90s reminiscing like whoa.

Just for a moment, pretend that God is a fact. Does he give a shit about your weight? I mean, come on. What other gifts has the Universe bestowed upon you, lucky girl?

Google fat activism. It's a thing.

Imagine someone in your life that loves you totally unconditionally. Is it a parent? A sibling? That nerdy boy who had a HUGE crush on you in 7th grade? Close your eyes and imagine looking at yourself through their eyes.

10 Ways To Stop 'Feeling Fat'.

100 Things Young Adults Need to Realize

Posted by Kelly on December 8, 2013 at 10:15 PM Comments comments (0)

1. You need a minimum of an hour to get ready before work or class. 

2. Don’t hit the snooze button. If you gotta get up, then get up.

3. Shaving is more than a suggestion. That goes for both men and women.

4. If you eat enough pizza, you will turn into a tub of oily cheese.

5. Running isn’t just for four-legged animals.

6. Getting high gets old.

7. Getting drunk doesn’t. But don’t tell that to your liver.

8. Unprotected sex is a regret waiting to happen.

9. The quiet ones are the best between the sheets — although it may take some time for them to open up.

10. Dating is overrated and usually a waste of time.

11. Don’t date unless you think you may fall in love with them.

12. Facebook is boring and a waste of time. It is. Really.

13. When you think you’re missing out, you’re not.

14. Nothing good happens after 3 am.

15. Sex is better if you are emotionally involved with your partner.

16. Reading is always better than watching TV.

17. Watching reality TV makes you dumber.

18. Yay, you can twerk!! But can you do anything useful?

19. The way people see you is just as important as the way you see yourself.

20. Friends are hard to come by. Don’t ignore those you have.

21. Most people want something from you.

22. There is no such thing as free.

23. You don’t have a hole in your wallet; money just disappears.

24. Putting more money into your car than the car is worth makes you look stupid.

25. Listening to music too loud CAN make you go deaf.

26. Drunken sloppy sex is only good the first time — maybe the first two times.

27. Don’t spend money on things you don’t need because you won’t have money for the things that you do need.

28. In a healthy relationship, he should love you even more without makeup.

29. Being in a relationship is not a reason to let yourself go.

30. More tongue is not the answer.

31. Ladies: your teeth are for chewing. We don’t like to be chewed.

32. Never be satisfied with your current sex life, always strive to be better. Try new things, you might like it #Shocker.

33. Stop using hashtags. They’re not always appropriate.

34. If you can get her into bed before date 3, then you’ll get bored with her by week 2.

35. We all like the chase.

36. Love will cost you.

37. Men may not only be looking for sex, but sex is definitely a part of it. A big part.

38. Waiting until you get married to have sex is dangerous.

39. Bad sex = bad relationship.

40. If you’re going to get a tattoo then make it small and have it somewhere inconspicuous.

41. Savings accounts are not for dummies.

42. You will hate yourself for getting a new credit card.

43. If you’re feeling sh*tty, get some exercise.

44. You should always do your best to look your best because it will make you feel your best.

45. Orgies.

46. Learn to play chess.

47. The world works, in large part, by manipulation.

48. Having the ability to read people will get you further in life than anything else.

49. It’s not just whom you know, but also what you know that matters.

50. You should live in New York City for at least a year.

51. You should live abroad for at least a year.

52. As a rule of thumb, don’t do drugs. You don’t ever know what you’re actually taking.

53. Less is almost always more.

54. Beauty lies in simplicity.

55. Overcomplicating things leaves things overly complicated.

56. If you sleep around with a lot of people, then get tested. Otherwise, who cares? As long as you’re clean, you’re clean.

57. Make mistakes now. Making them later will be too late.

58. We all want what we can’t have. Remind yourself of that every day.

59. You can do less and produce more.

60. It’s all about efficiency.

61. You can’t buy time.

62. Time itself is an illusion. Always think: “I’ll be there before I know it.” And you’ll prove yourself right each time.

63. They stopped making good music in the 90s.

64. You don’t actually want to be a DJ. You just don’t understand what it means to be one.

65. Lower your expectations and you won’t be so disappointed.

66. Using toys can be fun for both parties.

67. Size does matter. It goes for both sexes.

68. If you expect oral sex then have the courtesy to lather and rinse beforehand.

69. Don’t say I love you unless you mean it.

70. Don’t be afraid to fall in love.

71. Yoga.

72. Violence is for idiots. Use your words.

73. Being smarter does make you the better person.

74. Kill them with kindness.

75. You don’t need to be an assh*le to get ahead in life, but you can’t be a pushover either.

76. Your cellphone is ruining your life.

77. There is no substitute for face-to-face human interaction.

78. Get checkups regularly. It could save your life.

79. If you’re going to smoke, then use a vaporizer.

80. It is your moral responsibility to be healthy.

81. Going down goes a long way.

82. Slow and gentle will always get her off. Rough and intense only works on occasion.

83. If you’re using the pulling-out method, then you have a good chance of pulling out a baby in a few months.

84. Don’t drink cheap liquor

85. Don’t eat crap food.

86. Drink lots and lots of water. Most of you are chronically dehydrated.

87. Meditate.

88. Sudoku helps fight off future dementia.

89. You don’t have ADD.

90. You’re most likely to be your own cause of depression.

91. The way you see the world is all that matters. But understand that you may be delusional.

92. There’s always more to the story.

93. People lie.

94. You are alone in this life. Accept that and appreciate the moments when you don’t feel so alone.

95. Family is more important.

96. If you don’t work to improve yourself every day then you are wasting your life.

97. Passion is what makes life worth living.

98. You are always better off than most people in the world.

99. You aren’t entitled to sh*t — nada. You get what you earn.

100. No matter what happens, never give up.


I Am Perfect

Posted by Kelly on December 6, 2013 at 10:40 PM Comments comments (0)

Throughout my entire life I've had a hard time accepting myself & my flaws. I've always felt like I'm not worthy or good enough in most aspects of life. However, I've ventured out into the world & now I know the truth is I am absolutely perfect exactly as I am and you are too. 

In the words of Heidi Powell (a woman I admire & look up to) ... "I believe that everyone and every thing is perfect and beautiful in its imperfect state of being. Think about that for one second – imagine that just maybe your imperfections actually make you perfect. Don’t you just love the freedom that thought gives you? Well, time to realize the reality of the thought and let go of our self-judgments and negative self-talk. It’s time to embrace our imperfections." I couldn't agree more. Here's a link to Heidi's blog entry that inspired me to write this one.

Every person that has ever lived has had imperfections but these imperfections are part of what makes each person unique. If you look at yourself as a whole person & see your strengths along with your weaknesses, you'll start to see that you are perfectly imperfect, meaning you are perfect in your own way. There are no true guidelines for perfection. Whatever ideal state of perfection the media has supplied to our brains isn't accurate or even possible. Even with all the ridiculous procedures & surgeries for physical beauty, it is impossible to reach the media's vision of absolute perfection... Unless of course you have Photoshop or some sort of photo editing software. Photos can be perfect but people have imperfections. I believe when you get to know yourself and accept yourself for who and what you truly are, that is when you will achieve perfection. 

I know I am far from perfect but I have accepted myself the way I am right now (And also my past, which is another story) and I have finally learned to love myself and my flaws.

Here Are A Few Of My Imperfections

1. I'm shy. In school (I'd rather not even talk about the subject...) I was so shy it hurt and my shyness held me back from having fun with everyone else. Still today I'd rather sit back & observe everything instead of blurting out all my thoughts. Unfortunately this has lead many people to think I am either stuck up or have mental problems. 

2. My smile. If I'm not literally laughing with my mouth open my smile looks so weird because for one thing it's crooked & my left front tooth overlaps the right front tooth. This has contributed to my shyness for the majority of my life up until now.

3. My weight. I'm a big girl, not so big that I have trouble getting around and I can see & touch my toes just fine but I'm overweight and have been most of my life. Guys say I'm "thick" and it seems lots of guys like me just for my body but I'm not satisfied with that. I struggle with my reflection daily but I do love my body for all it can do.

4. I'm socially lazy. Lazy doesn't really cover it, I honestly do not know the word(s) I'm looking for here. But I love meeting new people, having meaningful conversations and learning the stories behind the faces and I have loads of friends & acquaintances but it seems like I have trouble with keeping consistent contact. I have only a few close friends now and that's because they are the only ones I have made a real effort to keep in contact with. My only justification for this is that I like variety but I'm aware that's not a good excuse.

5. I care too much. Now this is double-sided; It's good to care in general, and it's good to care about someone that cares about you but the thing is I care too much about people that I mean nothing to. I could tell you some stories that would leave you speechless. My heart is huge and wide open but not as much as it once was. A heart & soul can only handle so much pain.

6. My hair. Once upon a time I could wake up and my hair looked great, I'd brush it real quick and ta-da I was ready to walk out & face the day. But now my hair is in a constant mess. No matter what I do it never looks great, just alright. And only alright sometimes. Most of the times it looks 'ehh' or 'wtf'. It's naturally wavy and I hate wearing my hair up in public (I do not know why) so it usually looks like a total disaster. I haven't given up on it yet but I'm at the end of my rope.


Extreme Weight Loss

Posted by Kelly on October 23, 2013 at 8:50 PM Comments comments (0)

Recently I've become a huge fan of Chris Powell & his Extreme Weight Loss shows. He's such a positive person & it's incredible how he encourages these people who have given up on themselves to push forward. He's an amazing guy, that's for sure and I admire his work. Plus, he's pretty cute. I mean, just look at that smile. :) 

Here's a link to his website chrispowell.com 

The shows & the people are so inspiring so if you need fitness inspiration you should definitely check it out.

Some of these people lose up to 100 pounds in just 3 months and then continue on to change their entire lifestyle over the course of a year. After watching a couple of the shows I began thinking about how badly I want to change myself and I realized all the things that had been holding me back throughout my life (such as school, depression, family & people in general) have all faded away. There's nothing holding me back anymore except myself.

I've had a major lack of motivation in the past but getting in shape & being healthy is something you have to want for yourself. You have to commit yourself to make the changes in your life to become the best version of yourself possible despite any obstacles. Food is always around, it's something we all need to survive so if you have any sort of food addiction it is so much harder to stay motivated but you have to do it for yourself and put your own health above those temptations. You'll need to make sacrifices but eventually you'll see the results and it will be worth every step you've taken to get there.

I'm 5'9" tall & about 37 pounds overweight right now... (Starting at 207) 

Everyone has to start somewhere in their own fitness journey. Fortunately for me, I lost a little over 30 pounds already after getting out of a dead end relationship (I'd gained 40+ lbs. from stress & comfort eating through the last year of that relationship). After I get that weight off, I know I would be so happy with my figure again and I'll feel invincible. Right now I'm not nearly as confident as I should be and that lack of confidence comes from how lousy I feel when I see my body. So many feel that way and it's sad but you can change it if you want to bad enough and I'm ready to make some real changes.

Let's go! :)